When I was a child I used to wake up with night terrors.
The doctor told my mother that this was because my brain could not handle all of the thoughts that I was having, my brain simply could not catch up to all of the ideas and new concepts that were racing through my subconscious.
As I near 21 years of age I do not feel as if much has changed.
Deep thought still rules my everyday life.
Often I find myself sitting alone, just to find peace for my cluttered mind.
Sometimes I feel as if I cannot make sense of it all.
Often I have pieces in my mind that do not fit together, hundreds of tiny little picture, ideas, events, memories, hurts, laughs, people, places, words, and many sorts of mind fabrics.
My mind attempts to organize these many parts into a mosaic of consciousness that so often will just not compute.
So often I must force myself to just sit and process.
So often I think.
These thoughts I have are good and bad, some are great, some are ugly, some hurt, and some bring joy, but there is always a thought.
There is always a thought in my mind.
Often when I seem the most mindless, saying nothing, doing nothing, is when my mind is working the hardest.
Often I think.
I think hard and long, taking all these tiny little pieces into account, forming the truth to what seems to be my everyday life.
These thoughts are not random, although they are made of random pieces, they work together in a formation, creating my conciseness.
When I wake I think, I dream, and I ponder.
Thinking is the only thing that really makes sense to me anymore.
Reality has lost its touch.
The thoughts of better days, and promises fulfilled seem more important to me now than ever.
For a man locked away has only his dreams till freedom arise,
the same as I have only my thoughts till destiny has its place.
I will keep thinking, protecting myself from mindless activity.
Never forgetting that although parts of me may not be able to keep up, I would rather think too much, than to never really think at all.